Archive for April, 2008

Planning

April 29, 2008 · Filed under Intellectual Talk

When humans plan, and nothing comes out of the plan, they think it was because their plan was flawed. But a human’s plan is always flawed, because a human is limited in knowledge. Still, God sometimes bestows human with success even with his flawed plan. The plan doesn’t matter. Its the recognition of the fact, that your plan can be flawed, that your plan cannot be trusted; which is known as belief. When you believe, you say, “I will do the right thing even if circumstances go against me.” When you start following the voice of truth no matter what, you become aligned with the nature. Your desires too, come to be aligned with the nature. When you are closer to nature, your will closes down with God’s will. Hence, submission is the key.

Plan, but don’t trust your plans. Trust God.

I recognized God by planning going futile.

-Hazrat Ali

Note: Why do we have to plan at all? Why do we have to ‘follow’ the voice of truth? God created us on nature. The nature is ‘built-in’. We only need to avoid things which threaten to mutate that nature. And the best way to avoid those things is to ask God to keep you away from those things. As far as the quote by Hazrat Ali (KW) goes, I will need to research it again. (November 4, 2008)

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New Blog?

April 29, 2008 · Filed under About me

For the first time, I’m thinking about abandoning this blog and starting a new, anonymous one.

I started this blog at a very strange time. Four years ago, when some events triggered the philosophical war within myself, I wasn’t depressed. The conclusions which came with that war, in addition to the series of unfortunate events, made me lose faith. Logic reached its limits, things in the world became smooth. That is when I realized that I didn’t have a front to fight on.

Even when you have disturbing thoughts, if you have something to try out, something to fight about, you keep going. When you don’t have a fight anymore, and have lost all the motivation, that is when the real depression starts.

That is exactly when I started this blog.

Then came 2008. I gave up. I finally said, “I cannot keep living like this, still I cannot help it.” January and February 2008 were two blessed months which changed everything. Putting back a broken mirror is not easy. But I’m happy that it happened. Surely, this change is not to be attributed to me at all.

This blog has a certain attitude to it. Death, depression, philosophies… Now I’m tempted to write about the happenings in my life. Hence a new blog…

I however will keep dumping my philosophical stuff at this blog…

Note: I never started a new blog. I still sometimes think of starting a new blog however. This blog gives out a certain image about me, which doesn’t hold true anymore. (November 4, 2008)

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Emotions & Me

April 27, 2008 · Filed under About me, Intellectual Talk

I don’t say stuff like “Happy Birthday”, “Eid Mubarak”, “Best of Luck”, “Love ya” etc. When I go to my office, I walk straight to my desk, without any ritualistic greetings. I hate small talk. Just yesterday, I was sitting with a bunch of guys who hardly knew each other. While they joked around making stupid comments, I sat quiet. They were joking, and yet they were formal. While people bond over conversations about weather, I sit like dead wood. If I don’t have anything real to say, I just stay quiet. When I sit down and joke around with my friends, it a no holds barred experience.

I just simply hate being formal, be it social interaction or religious practices. (E.g. I don’t like to refer to God as “aap”, I refer to Him as “tu”)

I don’t believe in words. (Lol, that is ironic coming from someone who is a published writer and has remained a professional writer as well) When you try to express your emotions, you limit your emotions.

This is exactly why I say that I am an honest person. If me and another guy has nothing to talk about, I would make it obvious… If he says, “It was very hot today”, I would simply say, “Yes, it was”. I fail to understand how people can make a big deal out of hot weather. :s

Whatever I do in life, it is totally pure. I don’t pretend. If I act up, I feel cheap.

I just wrote a comment related to this:

Problem is that when I express my emotions out loud, I feel that I am being dishonest to my emotions… because emotions simply cannot be expressed in words. It takes a lifetime to express an emotion… A few sentences simply cannot do the justice…

Note: I feel that the concept I described above is very important to keep in touch with the reality. Most of such ‘formal’ greetings are a part of this brave new world lifestyle. One must be truthful in all actions. Also, one must protect his pure actions from being stereotyped. (November 4, 2008)

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Great War

April 26, 2008 · Filed under Intellectual Talk, My Perfect World

A friend at work was going through my blog, discussing stuff with me, and I kept mentioning my depression again and again. That is when he said, “Depression na ho gaya, world war ho gai“. (Its just depression, not a world war.)

That reminded me of this quote from Fight Club:

We don’t have a great war in our generation, or a great depression, but we do, we have a great war of the spirit. We have a great revolution against the culture. The great depression is our lives. We have a spiritual depression.
-Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 19

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Judge Me?

April 26, 2008 · Filed under About me, Beyond this World, Intellectual Talk

You guys don’t know me. Stuff I write here possibly makes sense only to me. Still you come here and read. You deduce meanings from my writings which I never intended.

I generalize and theorize my topics. Still, every post I write is closely related to my life and what I am experiencing at the moment.

People read, interact with me and assume that they have read every line on my palm. Like I said in my previous post, I am an ordinary person exposed to extraordinary concepts and people. No matter what I write, there are parts of me which remain hidden.

I look at life and this world as a part of a very big picture. Normally, people don’t look at life at all, they just live it.

A friend recently read a post on my blog and said, “You have started to sound like folk tales.” That is true. My life has exposed me to things which made me reach those timeless conclusions. Once again, God created an extraordinary setting for my life, it was none of my achievement.

When I really did have some control over things in life, I screwed up. I failed myself. Every good thing in my life is totally to be attributed to God.

A human has intellect. Fuel to intellect are ideas. A human has some control over how he wants to use his intellect. But he has absolutely no control what ideas come to his mind. Ideas come from God. All a human needs to do is to ‘process’ the ideas honestly.

Lets just say that God gives me a lot of ideas.

This blog cannot possibly tell about all the ideas in my head. How can you possibly judge me from my blog?

Being judgmental is the most useless use of our brain. Be more emotional. Love me, hate me. And do it impulsively, don’t base it on ‘reasons’. How can you love someone or hate someone for reasons.

I am writing all this because some people judge me based on what I write. How can you, when even I cannot? Every next moment gives me a new insight about the moments that have gone by.

Vanity kills the soul.

Note: I like this post for the concept of how ideas are from God. However, processing each and every idea at a conscious level, analysing and controlling your phyche doesn’t seem to be a very good idea. One should live free. Overall, this is one of those “nobody knows me” posts. (November 4, 2008)

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I am…

April 20, 2008 · Filed under About me

An ordinary person, born and raised in extraordinary circumstances, exposed to extraordinary ideas and concepts, influenced by extraordinary people, developed extraordinary expectation from self and is expected to be extraordinary.

Note: I have started to look at things very differently now. A person is created by God, and sent to the world to enjoy the good nature. Comparison to other people come with this brave new world and the sad lifestyle. I see no point in comparison with others. (November 4, 2008)

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Of Trophies & Wives

April 19, 2008 · Filed under Intellectual Talk

I am actually surprised when I see guys hanging out with their wives who are without hijab. I fail to understand why men would want their wives to spend on others what belongs to them.

I think I know the answer now. It helps their ego to be satisfied. Their wives are not wives, someone they love. Their wives are trophies, stuff to show off, not human beings.

Women want female rights; a right to go free from hijab if they feel so. These feminists want to be trophy wives, someone that enables their hubbies to pamper their egos.

Real love is beyond ego. If there is one thing which holds a man down, it has to be ego. Ego tells you its okay to do something wrong, because you are special, because you are some kind of a paranormal being. Maniacs!

If a man is okay with his wife not wearing hijab, he probably doesn’t love her.

Note: This post was a micro-analysis of how brave new world lifestyle can affect your decisions in personal matters. Although what I have written above is true, I couldn’t relate a lot to this post because I don’t look at things at a micro level anymore. Such attitudes come with an un-natural lifestyle. Relating such attitudes to ego alone doesn’t reflect the whole situation. (November 4, 2008)

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Me & You

April 17, 2008 · Filed under About me, Beyond this World, Intellectual Talk

Calling myself “me” is a statement of ego. Referring to you as “you” is not compassionate. Combining you and me as “we” is disrespectful. Calling me “you” is an over-statement. Feeling you as “me” is love.

-Stinger :)

The lines above sum up the great depression of my life. Finally, I can say that its over.

Note: As strange as it might sound, the above quote does actually sum up everything I today believe and feel. The last sentence, “Feeling you as “me” is love” is the most important. It should be noted that God created us on nature. What is nature? What we refer to as nature is a concept whose highest tier is the question of why God created this world, and lowest tier is human happiness. The question of creation of this world would be related to God’s Asma-o-Sifat. A human who lives his life according to nature will thus have a strange connection with God. In that connection, seperate definitions of the creator and the created will not be possible. This is a very complex and strange concept, and no human has the power to completely understand it. (November 4, 2008)

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Disgust

April 10, 2008 · Filed under Intellectual Talk

Today I observed something interesting in the park. I saw a fashionable so-called modern and enlightened moderated woman whom you might refer to as a be-sharam be-haya aurat :P and I saw a burqa-posh woman with a so-called aura of spirituality and taqaddus around her. They were walking on the jogging track in opposite directions.

As they approached to one another, the fashionable one glared at the hijabi one with eye that said “o you miserable ignorant prisoner within the walls of male dominance and cultural restrictions”.

But hey, the hijabi one gave her a look too! And it said “you delusional bitch who is no more than a trophy for men with wealth”

When you look at someone with disgust, you are being looked back too.

Don’t judge. Leave the judgment to God.

I believe God will not judge humans by comparing them to other humans. He will judge them by how much they listened to the voice of truth inside them.

Note: Though I won’t say that what I wrote above is wrong, I wouldn’t totally approve it either. The only sentence which holds completely true is the last one: “He will judge them by how much they listened to the voice of truth inside them.” I would like to portray this post about how one should forget about all the stereotypes, and live freely. The voice of truth, and not the stereotypes lead to the ultimate truth and peace. I would also want to point out how I was judgemental of both those ladies myself. This post is irrelevant to my beliefs and feelings now. (November 4, 2008)

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