Small Things in Time

Since after around 24 hours, I’ll no longer be a single guy, I think I should write something. But I cannot really figure out what I should write.

The very nature of my current thought process requires that they should not be discussed. I really don’t have any philosophical problems any more. So no topic of writing there.

I could write about what I think about marriages and all. But then I don’t want to write anything serious. And then, refering to the paragraph above, I am not gonna talk about anything philosophical anyway.

What I can do is write about my emotions. But emotions cannot really be expressed in words. I can say that “I am happy” and that “I am satisfied”, but these sentences do not show the feelings of belief, and the strength of my conviction. These sentences also cannot express the remarkable fact that I have absolutely no doubt or confusion about this decision. I wouldn’t call it “my decision” because it was divine. Here I am, free from all worries and fears. I am more sure about the whole thing than I am sure about the sun rising from the East tomorrow morning.

Praise is for Allah, who made the man in a beautiful way. He made everyone differently. He instills desires in a human, and then grants them to him so that he can be happy and content. His blessings cannot be matched. He makes a human confident and sure about His ways and blessings. Shaitan becomes jealous and tries to confuse the man. The man becomes uncertain about the truth, looses his conviction, falls into wrongdoings and replaces happiness with fear. The man becomes anxious, and looses respect in his own eyes. But Allah still opens up a way for Him. He asks the human to ask for His help, for His help leads the human back in happiness and contentment.

How can I have any doubts? How can I be double-minded? The evil is not unknown to me. I know it when it tries to shake me. But the nature is prevelent. Nature has a clear voice. The evil speaks in jumbled up whispers. How can I be confused when I can distinct the two voices so well. How can I be afraid when the grand caretaker is there. And we ask for His help to lead us on the beautiful path that He made for us, and to save us from the one who gets jealous.

I just wrote the following as a comment on the blog of a patriot American:

Americans fought a war of independence a few hundred years ago. The philosophy of freedom which came with it made America great. But now America is more like their old English emperors themselves. American self-centered lifestyle reflects that of Nazis’ nationalist imperialism. The economic and cultural destruction of the world and American people themselves is worse than economic an cultural destruction of Socialism portrayed by the American TV.

These people are in an absolute denial. They defy their own roots all the time.

I don’t blame the American people. They have been brainwashed. They have been programmed to act in a certain way which is most favorable for their corporates. But they need to wake up.

Burning bodies (of both sides) is the biggest sign God (Christian or Jew or Muslim one) can give you, to tell you that you need to wake up.

Please don’t stereotype me. Don’t make my words irrelevant by saying that this is conspiracy theory shit or anti-American hatred. Just read my words, evaluate for yourself if my words reflect the reality or not. And then do the right thing.

Americans are less than 5% of world’s population, and they consume more than 25% of world’s resources. Actions you take matter.

“My teacher has told me to drink Complan”, the little boy argued.

“Why don’t you drink plain milk?” Asks his dad.

“But no!” the boy exclaimed with both request and anger, “I drank Complan and it was very tasty”.

“So what if its tasty” said his mother, “Its not really good for your health despite what your teacher has told you.”

“No, no, no” boy with tears in his eyes, “You mix it in milk, and then put in sugar, and then you boil it on the stove, and then it becomes okay. And it is very tasty.”

“Okay, okay, we will get it on our way home.” said the dad.

“That shop on the corner sells it, we can get it from there.” a little happy and satisfied voice said.

I had listened to the conversation and kept it in my memory.

Today, I was in a deep riddle. I have had riddles before, but there was always a way forward. By logical reasoning, I had always been able to know the right way. Today, I came to a dead end. It wasn’t because my logic wasn’t good enough. It was because the solution to the riddle itself required using no logic. But how can one know that he is doing the right thing if he doesn’t use logic? The solution required ultimate trust in God, as much to make sure that I would not feel the need for a logical analysis. Trust of course, cannot be gained with logic. I needed trust to trust Him more. The paradox had me stuck.

And then the conversation above popped up in my mind.

I realized that my relation with God was analogical to that child’s relationship with his parents. I will argue on things which are wrong. I will use my “complan+sugar+milk+boiling” logic with absolute certainty. I will even argue against what God tells me because I don’t understand what He says. But as long as I request Him, and stick with Him, He doesn’t care about things that I don’t understand. He holds my happiness above my sanity. He will delay the lessons for a later time. He is a lot more gentle than parents are to their children. All He cares about is my happiness. Slowly, He will bring me to the right way.

All one needs to do sometimes is just doing what you feel like doing, with the sense of security that God is looking over in every possible way. This gives one the peace and freedom that he yearns.

The only evil is vanity, which dares to provide an alternate caretaker. The only caretaker is God.

My philosophies are my vanity, as they try to provide me with what God is best at giving me. A new life called complan+sugar+milk+boiling awaits me.