Small Things in Time

I started this blog in September 2006. Back then, I combined my “about me” from Orkut and wrote a few additional lines to create an “about me” page. I called it jh101 under the notion that I am some complex guy which nobody can understand easily.

By the grace of God, things have changed a lot.

Just to show the change, here is my latest “about me” on orkut:

About me in a few hundred words? Am I a line product of some kind? What’s next? Should I also come with a product manual and a standard operating procedure? Should I quote a cost for myself? Is this about me a method for acquisition of statistical data for market economy and capitalism?

Consider blank…

And here is the old “about me” page, just for the record:

Hi, my name is dilemma. This is an introduction to what lays behind the name.A human is just another of the flock, trying to prove all the time that he is unique: an attempt in vain! I do that, you do that, everyone else does that.

Jaffar Hussain that people know of is just my brainchild. He in reality is totaly meaningless, just like humans are meaningless conception of God.

People who know me, remember me for different reasons. For some, I am just another wierdo they happen to see, to you I may be: a manipulative hypocrite, a mannerless jerk, a stubborn and lazy network admin, a lousy writer, pseudo-intellectual, a person who peeps in life of others (peeping tom? but sadly there is no Lady Godiva :p), a computer geek, a hardcore techie, a cyber gaming alchoholoic, an all-nighter insomnic, a hippy, an anti-social, anti-sports, wiered taste of music, a reasonless argument maker, freak out on small things, strange ideas/preferences about life and blah blah blah. You are all wrong!

One thing you fail to realise is that I become your reflection. Yes there is an absolute me, but who…?

Nobody really knows… not even myself… Words can describe logic, logic doesn’t explain all there is. There are sheep, there are goats… Once you enter the goat realm, the things fall apart. The obvious realities reveal and life becomes tasteless. The sheep enjoy life and remain satisfied. The great dilemma of mankind begins! What if logic can one day explain belief? Won’t all the goats become sheep then? Well then I was a sheep who became a goat and then became a sheep again.

If you couldn’t understand that, don’t bother either.

But then sometimes, things take a way around sense… and you come to realise that reason is just one thread in the fabric… Dilemma and confusion prevails… and you realise that your will doesn’t matter in the grand model of… well this world and countless worlds after…

And so one says: Life is not a big deal… Just laugh it away! and believe! I’m one of those who are worshiped after they are dead… or not…

EDIT @ NOV 12, 2006: Dilemma no more… Things are more clear to me now than they were ever before. The rule as it went before was: Clearer it gets, more painful and mechanical it becomes. This time, even this rule was broken. There is a new way which is based upon greater realisations and still holds all the aesthetics and sophistications of a human heart.

A new “about me” page will soon be in place.