A Heart-Touching Title

I remarked upon the days and nights of my life: On how things have become, on how I came to be like how I am today, and how powerless and opinionless I feel. I tried to think, but found it utterly useless. His grace had me speechless. I lost all motivation to analyze things. I was quiet, staring at the ceiling… That is when I realized that I was awake. Sleep slipped away seamlessly, and I couldn’t figure out when it was when I woke up.

I thought about days and nights of my life. I wanted to feel the pain of things that I have went through. But somehow I couldn’t feel grieved. The philosophical thoughts tried to pop back in as a matter of habit. But they seemed so totally irrelevant. The only fact of the world was that God is there. And He is doing what He wants. And I had nothing to say, no opinion to form and nothing to do in His matters. He is doing what He is doing. I feel absolutely no role in things He do. Somehow I have lost all feelings.

The only thing I wanted at that moment was God to look at me, and to watch everything that was happening.

I somehow no longer care about what happens to me, how things in my life become. God will do what He wants, and I can do nothing. So fine, let it be that way. I don’t have an opinion or a desire anymore. I am fine with whatever He does.

14 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    aadil said,

    iam speechless. i wish i cud hav this state as u mentioned. i look at my long beard and feel ashamed that many ppl with lesser beard or no beard are much more in a state of being raazi than me

    i hope this is not just a temporary phase but somethig u carry on

  2. 2

    aadil said,

    ur email plz??????????????????

  3. 3

    aadil said,

    Dear Jaffer

    I have been emailing u on what i think is ur ufone address again and again but that gives an error, and since u havent yet replied to my request to give me ur personal email so iam copypasting my email here and wud request u 2 reply at aadil_far@yahoo.com whenever u can

    Assalama Alaikum Jaffer Bhai

    How r u man? I hope you are fine, happily married and as philosophical as ever.

    I want to share something with you which i wudnt have shared otherwise but due to ur posts i am tempted to. before coming to islam, i was an aspiring rockstar 4 years ago. of the many things i composed, i properly recorded 2 songs and 1 instrumental in studio (all 3 unreleased). of these 3 tracks, i want to share with u 1 of them because ironically this song has a deeply religious theme and surprisingly now it makes even more sense to me than it ever did and u will relate with it as well to the fullest.

    Artists:Aadil Farook,Sarmad Ghafoor,Salman Yasin,Hasnain Akram
    Composition: Aadil & Hasnain
    Poetry/Lyrics:Aadil
    Vocals:Salman Yasin (vocalist of pakistan’s 1st underground rock band-Mind Riot)
    Lead Guitar Solo:Sarmad Ghafoor (lead guitarist of Atif Aslam&Rungg)
    Production,Mixing,Mastering:Sarmad Ghafoor at S&M Studios, Islamabad Ideas (Musical&Production):Aadil
    Guitars:Aadil

    Lyrics

    seen a warrior’s burst of rage
    seen a martyr’s life outgrow his age
    seen vile in great men
    seen beauty in false women
    seen rivals of a genius
    seen tyrants hailed among us
    seen the envy of a friend
    seen love draw its own end

    Seen a rainbow fade when it should stay
    seen a summer wait for the next may
    seen a leave wither from its youth
    seen weathers play with our moods

    seen a victim plead for his right
    seen a culprit with his last lies
    seen guilty hands turn to pray
    seen aggression overwhelmed by grace

    But the world just doesn’t run on grace
    In the crowd, you’re just another face
    when you’re gone, you dont ever leave a trace

    seen faith take hold of our reason
    seen wisdom go out of season
    seen hatred for a chosen prophet
    seen sacrifices with regret

    seen ironies turn to the truth
    seen lies bearing the fruits
    seen impact of just a thought
    seen actions ending with naught

    But the world just doesn’t run on grace
    In the crowd, you’re just another face
    when you’re gone, you dont ever leave a trace

    seen voices live longer than singers
    seen a maestro play with bleeding fingers
    seen life in a dead man’s painting
    seen victors go down fainting

    But the world just doesn’t run on grace
    In the crowd, you’re just another face
    when you’re gone, you dont ever leave a trace

    Like a whistle it fades away (Chorus repeat)

  4. 4

    aadil said,

    OH HOW DUMB OF ME I FORGOT TO PASTE THE SONG LINK :)

    http://w19.easy-share.com/1903113998.html

  5. 5

    aadil said,

    my blog is updated although iam still waiting for ur email reply

  6. 6

    yesterdaywazbetter said,

    have you ever considered praying…

    dua is always there for us…. we cant change what Allah have planned for us….. but we can always pray to him and ask him for guidanse and change things in our favor…. He does listen and answers our prayers…..

  7. 7

    Yousuf said,

    aadil,

    koko here, jaffer is our junior, stop calling him jaffar bhai!

    and no he is not that great…

    and everything about this blog is a lie!

  8. 8

    aadil said,

    dear koko Aoa nice to hear from you i hope ur fine and doin well.

    yaar i know he is junior laikin koi masla nahi

    i cudnt get what u said abt everything on his blog being a lie and he not gr8?????

    kindly explain

  9. 9

    Yousuf said,

    when i said not great, i said about jaffer not this blog.

    and i was induce jaffer to say something nasty about me. bacha bara ho gaya hei!

  10. 10

    stinger said,

    aadil: Thanks a lot for your comments. I know I am very late, but you know, life sometimes just stuck you up… How wouldn’t you know that? :P

    Yousuf: nyah nyah nyah!

    yesterdaywazbetter: You are right. :)

  11. 11

    hey,
    your post reflects something that I also came to realize in my life. Pre-destination. I can only pray that may Allah allow us to enjoy His lila (play) and to accept it. Whatever I do or whatever happens to me is by His will and His cause. My life is nothing but water that flows in the river carved by God.
    ma salam

    Aadil: dude, that song is pretty rocking :P seems you were really influenced by pink floyd, creed etc?

  12. 12

    aadil said,

    which password??? i have tried many of mine but they all dont work

  13. 13

    Leena S. said,

    May Allah help you…just have faith, he’s there to help and plan for you :)

  14. 14

    aadil said,

    Dear Stinger, my blog is updated, visit it

    whats this password thing all abt? I thought wisdom was suppose to be made accessible to humanity :)


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