I am honest. I am unhappy. I am the keeper of those secrets which are supposed to be hidden behind the clouds. Being me is tough. And what I get in return? Your woe for me! I loose in this world. I loose in your court. But I don’t complaint, because I know you do justice. Its not something I need to experience. I simply know that you do justice. I realize whats good in my life, and I recognize it as your grace. I realize what I do wrong. I know it when I do it, and I accept it as my mistake, for I know what really is this world that you created. You are the One who knows. My life is perfect, but I’m not happy. Is there any perfectness that can replace happiness of a human heart? But then, there is your justice. I feel sad, but I know that you do justice. What do I do now? All the good things in life are those you are going to take away one day. Others never realize what they had in their lives till the time they loose it. I see whats good in my life and I see it getting out of my hands. Then there is your justice. Bright light blinds me all the time. There is your justice. And then you are displeased. Thats your justice, and in your hands, I commend my spirit.
Archive for Literary or Litterary?
A word with …
Low Tones
Many times, when I’m leaving my work place to head for home, His time has started already. (For those who don’t know, I took the concept behind the last sentence from Masud Mufti’s short story Samay ka Bandhan)
So it happens that the Diocese of Lahore, a big church, is right across the street and a mosque is somewhere in the backdrop. (Ka’aba mere peechay hai, kaleesa mere aagay hai) Coming back to the point, when I come out of my office smetimes, the bells start to toll and azan is recited at the same time. (I said recited because azan these days is more of a ritual these days.)
So its a beautiful voice. Today it so happened that the bells started to tool at the same time as azan. The bells echoed and somehow seemed to go along with the verses of azan. It was something awesome to listen to; made my day really. This is your life!
See, in those beautiful moments, I just couldn’t keep myself from thinking about the low frequency noise from the ventilating units and generators of my office! This is my life!
When others think about beautiful things, I’m thinking about ugly stuff. I could have thought about a hundred other things at that time. E.g. The sounds could have lead me towards thinking how Islam and Christianity both have so much mystisism and spirituality etc. I could have thought about recording those sounds and making a little video about.. well I could have taken it in various directions. But no, I had to think the way which makes me what I am.
These are the low, ugly tones which make up all the tough realities of this world. Anyone can go off dreaming in the beautiful things. Dealing with realities my dear, are not an artist’s job. Its a job of a warrior.
Uncle Sam, Eat This!
Dear Uncle Sam,
The Chinese president visited Pakistan last week. Though China is not exactly a communist country, still the ’surkha’ people of Lahore couldn’t resist show their feelings for the other side of… you know what.
What you can see in this picture, which I took with my spy cam, is of the Communist Party, Lahore office flying a large Chinese flag, with a large communist logo on it, right on the Mall Road. I must also tell you that the same place also displayed a messege saying “Congratulations to Communist North Korea for Conducting Successful Nuclear Test” a few weeks ago. My spy cam had a problem back then, so I am sorry I cannot provide you with photo evidence. But if you really want it, then I can make up some blank images and send it to you. After all, that worked with Afghanistan and Iraq too.
Uncle Sam, you are so cute and handsome even though you are so into mature age. And nope, you don’t look old at all. Now can I have a new spy cam? If yes, then please make it one with X-ray glasses and all. Afterall, you also have all those satellites too. And now that we are talking abot that, can I also start selling “chars” here in Lahore?
Awaiting your warm reply,
Mr. Tripple Tie Knot
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Wasn’t my plan to make a big deal out of it, just wanted to post the picture. But then, what the hell. 
Good things in life…
I’ll like to quote a sentence from a short biography of Rafique Ghaznavi written by Saadat Hassan Mantu. He writes: “Dekhiye mein phir faruaat mein chala gaya. Mujhe asal mein faruaat se hi muhabbat hai. Mein zindagi ko bhi aik faruee cheez samajhta hoon.”
A loose translation can be: See I started superfluous talk again. Actually I love superfluous talk. I also consider life to be a superfluous thing.
Why did I quote it here? Because I went through a process of total recall and tried to sum up things I thought about in a past few years. At the end, there was one thing for sure: There is nothing in life which is all about happiness. Everything in the world ends at a tragedy and a human being is too weak when compared to the world around him.
A percentage of people reach this conclusion. Ofcourse different people reach it at different levels. Some think on a common moral level, some think on social values, some think on a psychological level, etc. The depth depends upon the assumptions you started out with. Yes, some stupid people think they have reached this conclusion when they get what they would describe as an emotional shock.
In this post, I am talking about people who reach this conclusion based upon their original thought. An original thinker starts out with biological facts and builds his thought upon them. Yes, that person is a full-time thinker whose conclusions are not based upon emotions at all! (Though the thought process itself might be initiated by an emotional event.)
If a person lives these facts about life, he will loose the ability to cheer himself up. He will loose the ability to live as a normal person. He will loose all ambitions and all emotions. Everything in life will loose its color. So what is it which keeps you living? Its these superfluous things! You know they are bullshit, and you know you don’t need to take them seriously, so you can go ahead and give your bruised mind some rest. People like Mr. Mantu know that a human’s weakness itself gives him the ability to take life non-seriously. What do people know what Mantu really is?! He was a great person and he is to be blamed partially for me turning out to be a mal-adjusted individual.
A person who realises these facts and live them is a depressed person in ignorant terms. The ones who choose to ignore the facts and “go back to their lives” are cowards. But the one who realises the picture completely and knows how insignificant he is, and starts taking life non-seriously, is a wise person.
A case study: A person has an emotional setback, becomes depressed and makes up his own version of the absolute reality. He also tries to commit suicide. Fortunately he survives and now must keep his spirits high artificially to make sure he keeps living. This can be called a state of being a coward. However, the person doesn’t want to forget the facts either because the very method of being in high spirits require them to stand up and face the facts. So actually they are stuck. Good thing is to realise the bigger picture and look for freedom in submission.
If someone actually read all that, then bravo dude! Give me a comment to let me know about your thoughts. 
God of Small Things
With every passing day, I come to realise that most things in life doesn’t matter at all! At the end of the day, each of us is going to die and we will leave all behind. What we think is a result of our abilities and hard-work is nothing but a series of random events. Everything is God’s doing and none of our’s. Even when I think about good deeds, the most divine of deeds, I still think that they too come your way because God wants it like that, and not because you are pious and all. So what is the big thing in life? Nothing…
Everything in my life has sized down. Giants of yesterday seem palmers today! (Last sentence is a loose translation of this sentence by Mushtaq Ahmad Yousufi: Kal ke deo aaj balishtiye nazar aanay lagay.)
