This local corporate believes in burning down all three of Quaid’s principles:
Archive for Wit Reincarnated
Memoirs of Failings
My primary school teachers used innovative ways of punishing students. When we were in grade 4 or 5, if a student would perform badly in a quiz, the teacher would send him off to sit in a grade 1 classroom for a while. The shame of a big boy sitting with first graders was worse than any other punishment.
I never got that punishment since I was a stellar student in my school days.
Many years laters in college, I had different interests and pre-occupations. I got an ‘F’ in Solid State Electronics in sixth semester. I was at home when I got the result. It was the first – and the last – ‘F’ of my academic carrer. I was disturbed. That night, I saw in a dream that I was sitting in a grade one classroom…
That semester, Dr. Khasan Karimov (a Russian scholar) taught Solid State Electronics, and was the only teacher in my academic career to fail me.
“Someone has finally evaluated me correctly” I thought, “He is the one worthy to be my final year project advisor”.
So in our seventh semester, I chose Dr. Khasan Karimov – the only teacher to ever fail me – as my project advisor.
Signs of Qiamat
Holy shit! Why did I do this to myself? o_O
I got a ‘tind’ done. According to my mom, last time I had a tind was when I was five years old. 
Edit: Picture changed to reflect the latest view.
Road Humor! Hahahahaha!!!
According to Mushtaq Ahmad Yousufi, Indian pedestrians would give way to the cycle rikshas and not to the cars. The anti-entitlement behavior can be seen here as well:
This guy has a green plate saying “Aam Shehri” (Common Citizen)
And this one says “Mein kuch nahin hoon” (I am nothing)
Then of course the poetic ones are there, in this case in its own good:
“Aai hoon Japan se, shehzor mera naam hai. Driver ho dil wala, bhagna mera kaam hai“
Then the reformists:
“Zameen kha gai aasman kese kese. Ye dunya dil lagne ki jaga nahin, ibrat ki jaga hai, tamasha nahin hai“
This last one has a little story to it. I parked my car at a place where some vip bullshit was gonna fly by, so the lifter was taking away my car. I threatened the police wala to do very bad to him if he didn’t stop that. Taking a pic of his number plate was one of my intimidating tactics. It didn’t work. 
There is nothing wrong with this guy’s number plate.
PS: If you are wondering that this post has an idiotic title, well it is. Those who have seen Comedy Central roast of William Shatner will recall Adam Corolla doing this line like “Space Humor! Hahahahaha!!!”
Finger Slip…
who? says:
be happy with ur lie stupid
who? says:
*life
who? says:
oops
who? says:
wasn’t intentional
who? says:
in case ur thinking its one of my twisted jokes
…and wisdom speaks even when I make a mistake…
Uncle Sam, Eat This!
Dear Uncle Sam,
The Chinese president visited Pakistan last week. Though China is not exactly a communist country, still the ’surkha’ people of Lahore couldn’t resist show their feelings for the other side of… you know what.
What you can see in this picture, which I took with my spy cam, is of the Communist Party, Lahore office flying a large Chinese flag, with a large communist logo on it, right on the Mall Road. I must also tell you that the same place also displayed a messege saying “Congratulations to Communist North Korea for Conducting Successful Nuclear Test” a few weeks ago. My spy cam had a problem back then, so I am sorry I cannot provide you with photo evidence. But if you really want it, then I can make up some blank images and send it to you. After all, that worked with Afghanistan and Iraq too.
Uncle Sam, you are so cute and handsome even though you are so into mature age. And nope, you don’t look old at all. Now can I have a new spy cam? If yes, then please make it one with X-ray glasses and all. Afterall, you also have all those satellites too. And now that we are talking abot that, can I also start selling “chars” here in Lahore?
Awaiting your warm reply,
Mr. Tripple Tie Knot
————————————————————
Wasn’t my plan to make a big deal out of it, just wanted to post the picture. But then, what the hell.
Dilemma! How it all started?
Every now and then, people ask me the reason for this word which I use a lot: Dilemma. It started around two years ago when I made a little sketch. I never get any urge to draw, paint or create something people would call artistic. That time, I just sat down and scratched some dark lines.
Those were some strange days! I wanted to say something but didn’t have words for it and had n
o audiance.
Those were the days when I would be on natural highs all the time. Yes, I was depressed and it was the kind of depression where you don’t even have the motivation to die. But that I think is a tale for another day.
So I was undergoing my usual spell of insomnia when I casually took a page and a pencil and drew a few lines. My dizzy head didn’t care for a visual impression. The truth is that it didn’t care for a meaning either. But when I woke up next morning (it probably was an evening though) and I looked at those lines, they made sense!
Most of you would not accept it as a work of art and all, and I won’t blame you for it. Visually, it has no value at all. The meaning is all symbolic.
Look at the eyes… and pain… He’s not a good man, not a bad man either! Ain’t happy, ain’t sad!
I named the sketch dilemma and thats how I started using the word.
The responses I’ve recieved from different people are: a man’s head getting stuck in a narrow place, a man falling down a mountain, an old man crying like a child etc. So go ahead, forget about what I said and tell me that it rather looks like something else.
My life has ended!
I would like to break a very important news with a historic quote. When Japan surrendered from the world war 2, the king of Japan, Hiro Hito said this in a public announcement: “The time has come when we must bear the unbearable.” Yes guys, my life ends a few days from now when I join my job. Its time that I say bye to freedom and enter the endless rat race of money, cars, properties and stock holdings. Fateha!
